♥The Essence of Love♥

I have not given up on relationships,
Nor have I given up on love.

Realization is the key that I've been struggling to obtain-
I've used the key, unlocked the door, and have gained knowledge.

The Knowledge that I have obtained would have been useful years ago, but
"Experience is something you don't gain until just after you need it."


Why rush into things that are not certain?
I once believed that relationships were a necessity.
I'm not ashamed to say that there was a time when I relied on someone else to determine my happiness.
Those days are no more.

So many people sell themselves short.
So many people fail to get their lives together before they attempt to contribute to someone Else's life.
How can you possibly give your best to someone when you haven't even mastered giving your best to yourself?

I desire to be the best woman that I can be.
I desire to accept, love, understand, listen, and trust,
But before I can give my all to a significant other, I must first learn to accept, love, understand, listen, and trust myself.

I have enough faith in what God has in store for me.
I have enough faith that wherever he wants me to end up in life, I will end up no matter what route I take.
The route I choose, however, is up to me.
I'm determined to choose the route that will allow only the best outcome.

I desire to give selfless love.
I truly want to be all that I can be.

One day I will be the best person that I can possibly be.
One day I will know exactly who I am.
One day I will have completely gained the gift of understanding.
One day I will have gained enough patience to sit back and listen.
One day I will have enough confidence in myself to trust and fully love.
One day I will be humble.

I can't be all that I want to be to someone else until I have fully become comfortable with myself.


Many people look at failed relationships and marriages and ask "What went wrong?"

If everyone were not in such a hurry to seek marriage and that ideal fairytale love, the world might be a bit better.
If everyone focused on working on bettering themselves before trying to work on something that takes the work of two, there might be less breakups, heartbreaks, and divorces.
Imagine what the world would be like if everyone hadn't established things so prematurely.

The essence of real love would shine through all of mankind.
The beauty of love could fully be embraced.
Two people could finally, truly come together as one.

However, the essence of love must start first, within one's own self.
You can not make someone whole if you are not whole yourself.

Don't be so fast to jump into things that are not promised.
You are the only thing that is promised to you.
Love and cherish that first.

"Don't question if you'll ever find the right man or woman, only concentrate on being the right man/woman and he/she will come right on time"
♥

Perseverance.

I once left everything I ever had behind.
Have you ever had life taken away from you?

Liberation was hard to find.
Have you ever had life taken away from you?

Gasping for air, nothing seems fair.
Have you ever had life taken away from you?


When everything aches-
Hearts not whole.

When lies take over-
Broken promises.

When sight dissipates-
Unlit candles.

When confusion sets in-
Brain dead.

Have you ever had life taken from you?



Can you believe in something that you do not see?
How does life move on without a you & me?
Robbed of childhood, forced to grow old-
Thrust into a world so heartless, and terribly cold.
It seems like millions of miles to the nearest town-
Over and over your world spins around.
Emptiness, sorrow, no hope for tomorrow.
You're praying for healing-
You can't gain from stealing.
The struggle to be real,
The pain you feel-
Everything you despise,
Tears in your eyes,
Still you rise.
It's not over, it's not over.
Tread forward- be strong.
Those mistakes can be changed, they won't always stay wrong!
Live for today, what if there isn't a tomorrow-
Why idle away in a life of sorrow?
Change history.
Solve a mystery.
There's hope.

Have you ever had life taken from you?



You never know what's up ahead.
Tread on, soldier.
Move along.

There's always a rainbow after the storm,
When things get harder remember his promise.
Giving up is never an option,
Hang tight, believe, and keep pressing on.

Human.

I'm guilty.
The tears fall as I tell myself that the battle should have already been won.
I remember each silhouette, but it's already too late-
Everything is always easier said than done.

I'm guilty.
I give advice that I struggle to take myself.
I watch you walk away as I sit back and endure the pain-
You read me like an open book off of a shelf, it drives me insane!

I'm guilty.
I move and I can never sit still
Shall I leave or shall I stay?
How do I really feel?

I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.

I'm in love with the things that I can not possess.
Yet my desire to break free forever waits,
When will I confess?

I'm guilty.
My body is free but my heart is in jail.
To release: reverse the process that locked it up-
There's got to be a Heaven somewhere, can you save me from this Hell?

I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.

I constantly stare at the doors that are already closed.
The laughter, the chemistry, and the love-
The things that made us are now decomposed.

I'm guilty.
It takes me forever to let go.
Do I do a great job at shielding it,
Or does it always show?

I'm guilty.
All the fragments of me are parts of you,
But each day I grow farther apart with everything I do.

I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.

For once I've began to move along.
The feelings are hard to differentiate-
Is this my heart's true song?

I'm guilty.
I've started to realize every possibility.
Live, love, laugh...
It's great to be free!

I'm guilty.
The opportunities I encounter help me to forget.
The memories don't matter so much,
Wait, have we even met?

I'm guilty.
The world once scared me, but I've finally won.
Ahhh the scent of freedom-
I'm getting quite used to being done!

I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.
I'm guilty.

The things I once thought I couldn't do, I now know that I can.
Everything is a part of growing-
I'm guilty of being human.

Fictitious!

No one seems to be able to put it into words.
It's the ultimate enemy, the outsider.
How can something be so two-faced and fake?

One second it's filling you with butterflies-
The next it's stabbing you in the heart with all of it's fallacies and lies.

Yet this is one fictitious thing everyone craves.


You struggle to understand the complexity of it all.
How on earth did you allow yourself to fall?

It's difficult to obtain and even harder to maintain.
With every drip of liquid, your life is stained.

A pillow, soaked with tears.
You feel stupid because you were fooled for years.

Yet this is one fictitious thing everyone craves.


The pieces are even harder to pick up.
The memories can't be erased, they'll always be stuck.

Aren't we all better off alone?
There's nothing better than the warmness of your own home.

You can only count on you-
You can't break your own heart.

Forget the fictitious dream and love thyself-
That's truly where it starts.

Then when you're jamming to the rhythm of your own song,
Another fictitious dream will quietly come along.

You fall and fall in the same cycle again.
Oh love, you're such a terrible friend.

Done.

I was always taught not to be a quitter-
but I can't do this, I'm quitting you.

The heartache, the pain,-
The life from me you drain!

How does it feel to lose the game?
Enjoy your life drowning in fame.

I don't know what I'm writing right now.
Maybe I'm drunk.
Dammit, I'm finally quitting you!
Who ever would have thunk?

Goodbye. Adios. Get to steppin.
Dont you have "a city to be reppin?"

If there's one thing I hate, it's when you try to fit in.

If society were to jump off of a bridge, you'd jump too.
It's whatever, I'm done. I'm finally quitting you.

The Key♥

One, two, three, four-
My heart beats more and more.

Whole again, but previously in two-
Can't you see it beats for you?

I almost forgot what it felt like to wake up to love.
For so long I woke up to a cloudy atmosphere of nothing.
I gasped for air, and I struggled to breathe,
I prayed to the sweet Lord from my knees.

But here you are--you've found your way in-
And all the old feelings rush back to me again.

I sit here, waiting--contemplating.

Who gave you the key?
♥

Pieces

Current mood: bitter sweet.

Eight years.
That's how long it's been since this grueling journey began.

I was always so carefree then-


Those days would soon be no more.

I still remember my parents forcing me to give up everything: my friends, my family, my life.
I even remember the tears that fell onto every departing letter I wrote.

I was only eleven when my world drastically changed.

As I struggled to adjust to life in Georgia- away from anything I had ever known,
Everyone realized that I was slowly changing.

The morning brought on a heavenly breeze, while the night birthed a hell of fire.
Soon, the feelings intertwined.

Everyone knew-it was no secret.
Yet everyone sat there and ignored my suffering in hopes of their liberation.
Never be in denial about something so serious.
Damn the doctors that diagnosed me.

You know what's hard?
To be in a world full of a million others who don't understand.

It's hard for people to look at someone and think they have everything in the world when they actually have no idea what lies beneath.
If only you could walk in my shoes and realize the people I've lost, the dreams I've had crushed, and the things I long for.
If only I could walk in my own shoes and realize what I do have.

I've always been accustomed to moving around, but this is the first time I'm afraid of what I'm leaving behind.
Amazing people☮amazing feelings☮amazing discoveries.
However, I'm learning to live and let the blessings stick with me✞

Eight years ago I was forced to leave everything I had ever known.
Tomorrow, I'm going back to Texas to pick up the pieces of myself that I had left behind.
-☮❤✞☼ⓣⓘⓐⓡⓨ☼✞❤☮-